traces of the wind

it was a cold cold morning.. even with my air con off, i need two blanket to keep me warm. and goodness me, this is a tropical island. few years on, maybe we gonna see snow here..
end of 2004, a year of miracle..
where God proves to me, nothing is ever impossible..
good and bad..
never had i had such a tough year.. so much internal and external problem that i am tempted to say i have learned a lot and to say that i have matured..
but only ignorant fool would say that..

some people think they have become wise only thru some accidents.. and think they know better than others..
don't tell me that unless you were there when tsunami hit those poor beaches.. unless you were there when US planes bombarded the helpless Iraq.. unless you were there when nurses were putting their life on the line by serving the SARS patients, unless you were there when some pshyco hijacked a plane and hit it to the twin tower..

no.. we are just some weaklings leaving in a peaceful island, spoiled brat who thought that we know a lot..
always thinking that we've been thru things other could never imagine, thinking that we are somewhat enlightened while others are still struggling to find their way..
well, those Aceh people beg to differ..

2004 have also been a one-sided love affair between me and God.. how much have been given, how little has I spent my time with Him..
2004, in a way, has been the beginning of a new chapter, in another way, has been pretty much uneventful and full of sadness..
2005 mark the end of my 2nd 12 year circle..
i don't think i am strong enough to live for too long..
it would be fantastic if God gives me another 4 12 year circle to live on.. i won't and don't want to ask for more..

2005, will the girl finally show up? will i finally smell the air of the land of rising sun? will i finally walk into the destiny i live my life for?