traces of the wind

not much worth mentioning lately... been fed up with resume writing, not sure bout my own value liao lol... still not getting job... still slacking every day.. now that's what i call life =P
juz bought a 2nd hand panasonic 21' TV @ $140, flat screen, not bad huh.. been helping out my uncle with his 2nd hand laptop biz.. realized that its not all that easy to do after all... anyone interested to sell your 2nd hand laptop?

been consumed with this site:
www.deathball.net/notpron/levelone.htm
elsa gave me the link around 1-2 week ago n since then, been pulling my hair to solve riddle after riddle.. finally found out that i'm not that imaginative after all.. amazed at elsa's creative mind, she gotta be among the girls with best combination of persistence, brilliance, n imaginative mind and i've ever known, ever..
at level 20 currently, something that has to do with microsoft office.. n keep looking for more hints to solve it..

went to CFA course talk yesterday, n the only thing i was glad for was to know that there is a cheap n delicious ramen shop at S11 cuppage road.. the CFA itself happened to be damn costly.. not in the condition to fork out that much amount of money..

never knew naruto means 'fish cake' until i watch another anime incidentally.. the anime was 'AIR', taken from a dating simulation game.. liked shizuru a lot.. supposedly the reincarnation of a winged-beautiful-being.. she'd always say 'gao' when she is nervous.. love dinosaurs a lot.. unique personality i'd say..

went for karoke session with bunch of friends.. hey, never knew olivia has faye wong' kind of voice, but a bit softer i guezz, which is good.. never before had i heard a friend singing 'eyes on me' that fittingly.. man shez good.... now i know that faye wong can actually sounds sweet if she wants to..

andre's dangdut session was a moment to remember, and ata for all his early refusal, went on to sing couple of songs... btw, now i know party world isn't the place to go if you are looking for a karaoke with complete song list and more than okay sound quality.. but overall a decent place with decent price... wanted to do 'wu ting' as well as 'hao xin fen shou' duet with elsa but too bad.. we only got 'hao xin fen shou' to sing.. 

just wondering now 'do you actually take notice about the songs your friends pick during karaoke session? ain't it obvious that some (or most?) people pick songs that tell their own emotion or feeling? and sometimes... some even pick the songs that directly try to send message to someone else in the room? just wondering  =D

been watching Alias lately, Garner is good, the story plot is addictive, but some criticism here, this is a spionage kinda movie, so you have to sometimes show how the heroine do things perfectly without being caugt offguard. but the director decided to make things more tense for audience. So, we always see Garner caught offguard and ended up using some kicks and punches to escape. If that happens once in a while, I am sure we would be damn tense and that's cool (something like MI). But if that happens in almost each episode, we would lose the surprise factor and Garner would look too careless as a double agent.

anyway... why am i awake at such an early hour while I was still awake at 4 AM last nite? geez.. I must be starting to fall in love with the Saturday morning's air...

let's see... ever been to lil india during the weekend? i have been to lil india few times, but this evening, the atmosphere was just alluring..
colorful shops, people with strong fragrances, everything.. such experience was a first time for me in a way..
not that i've special affection towards indian but... they are very interesting people, considering that they are Asian...and what im gonna say by no mean apply to ALL indians.. these are just my opinions on the majority of those who i have chance to meet with... 
these are people who don't believe in simplicity, they like to do things with flair and they are so colorful(watch indian movies to know why).. these are people who you would instantly notice when they are around for one reason or another. they don't live low-profile life..
these are people who believe in straightforward approach in conversation.. much like western..
and obviously, these are people who are well known for their beauty...

ever been to sembawang? this is also the first time i've been going north to that extent.. the place was peaceful, and funnily.. i found out that all the lamps in this area are surrounded by those flying lil bugs that usually appear when its rainy.. don't know how you call them in any language i know.. wanna rent a HDB? try Sembawang's.. the HDBs are so much like condo I think..

and also.. today is the first time i had  a bust-up with someone else but well.. i think i was silly and not using my rational.. i felt i was right but the way i react to the situatuon was wrong.. so i apologize and hey... i may have lost something but you don't always learn by winning.. in fact i happend to learn about the truth once I apologize, n it turns out we are both just victim..
there is a power in the act of forgiving and letting go...

anyway.. ever heard the saying that women are unreasonable? well that maybe true... but if they are reasonable, why the heck do you think they'd want to keep you in their tummy for 9 months at the risk of destroying their nice figure? breastfeed you at the risk of well.. u know...
and wake up to your silly cry at the dead of the night?... and still proud of you even if you are a loser among your peers?.. 
anyone with reasonable mind would not do that...
treasure them..

i'm confused..
i was praying to God, asking Him to give me the best job and claiming that i'm gonna find new job soon.. i ended my prayer, walked to my comp desk and decided to have a final check on whats happening on the screen: who's online, any new email, any msg whatsoever...
and who would have thought that a new email just arrived, from a job I applied for.. a teacher position in an international school at Jakarta..

an email calling for interview, arriving at monday 1 AM, just after you ask for a job? some coincidence are creepy ain't they.. IF this is a coincidence..

not that i'm really confident i can pass the interview lol.. just that.. i started thinking bout the possibility of me leaving this lil island, not just for this job, but for whatever reason possible.. i just love to imagine things..

not that i dislike jakarta, in fact i applied for the job so that i can be close to my family.. at first it really felt perfect.. i can be close to my family while doing a job i kinda like with salary i kinda like too =P

but then this lil island turns out to be much harder to let go than i thought.. and the people i know here turns out to be much more important than i thought.. and the life i have here turns out to be somewhat beautiful...

well, maybe if i do get the job, and i do have to leave this place.. i would realize then.. how much i want you to be by my side..

let Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven...
the way ahead.. You decide.. I follow...

today gotta be the first time i am so proud to be a gooner for the last 7 months. the season has been kinda disaster for Arsenal. not very much about the fact that we crashed out of Champions League, losing the league to Chelsea; but more about how we lost and responded to that lost against MU.. how we were like clown kept conceeding goals from set pieces.. how we lost Edu, Pennant on Bosman.. sigh..

i am proud not because we won 3-0 against Blackburn and cruised to the FA final.. Blackburn is nowhere near our level anyway..
But how our players fought against the bunch of thugs who planned to ruin our games by keep fouling us..
How we were without Thierry Henry and Sol Campbell and yet.. Senderos the new 'Tony Adams' was magnficent yet again..
And most importantly, how van Persie the new 'Dennis Bergkamp' came on for Bergkamp, and scored two great goals a good forward should score in 10 minutes...
His 2nd goal was especially awesome.. I always thought he is better playing as forward than Reyes, and indeed.. He doesn't have Reyes' pace and technique but he knows how to score..

And finally.. when the game was over.. it was great to see Persie threw his shirt to a fan who wore Bergkamp's shirt. And it was touching to see our players congratulated each other. It was symbolic to see Bergkamp told Persie to walk out to the field and saluted the fans. I just saw our 'new Bergkamp' and 'new Adams' in action.. They were bloody good..

this is a story told by a friend:

during my first relationship, without me realizing, i already had sex with my girlfriend. it juz happened...
then the relationship ended.. n i was quite distressed.. not really sure if i were to approach another girl for quite a while..
then i met her, my wife to be...
i didn't like her at first, she was far from my ideal image of a girlfriend..
but one fine day, as we happened to sit together for lunch..
she asked me out of the blue
"hey.. how is your relationship with your dad?"
n i was like... what kind of question is that.. u don't ask that kinda question to people, especially people you don't know well..
but then i began to realize there was something bout her...

in short.. we entered a relationship... n we were getting serious and marriage was in plan..
i realized it was the time for me to be honest to her.. to tell her what i've gone thru.. including the fact that i have had sex with other girl..

it was a hard blow for her.. she had always kept her virginity.. kept her purity solely to be surrendered to her one and only spouse.. she couldn't take it and ask for a break for her to think for a while..

i thot she deserved to be upset.. i also put little hope for us reconciliating.. but few days after the break.. she called me and said she had made up her mind.. she was willing to forgive me and continue this relationship....

THE WEDDING DAY

i still remember vividly... the moment i stood inside the hall... inside an old church.. when the door started to open.. the light crawled in..
and then there was this unforgetable figure..
there she was.. in her beautiful white gawn.. so beautiful, so pure..
as she slowly walked in...
i was overwhelmed..
how i wished i saved the best of me for that moment..
how i wished i never did what i did..
how i wished i could give her the complete me, just as she gave me the complete her that day..
that moment i knew...
indeed there are something worth waiting for in this life..
there are moments that you can only enjoy the most if only you've never been there with anyone else..
there are things and moments that are supposed to happen once only, for all your life...

and your wedding day is probably gonna be the best moment you could ever have in your life..
it's the day you decide to make the best vow you could ever make, to one person, the best person you could ever fall in love with..
it's worth waiting for...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

we live in a world where people seem to care less bout being virgin, bout keeping yourself pure from sexual relationship till that day..
but when you wear your white wedding dress,
when you realize why you wear white...
its not bout physical stuff.. who cares bout that...
when u have sex.. u surrender certain part of you to that person..
everytime you do that.. you give away part of you..

but for the best moment, only the best of you would do...
that's when the tears of "if only" drop inevitably...

thx to all my frenzz. .. great to see u there.. more than anything..

came into my bedroom, findin a bedroom full of 100 candles all over.. was really great.... they even did a 24-shaped candles n now i know why girlz are so touched by this kind of thing... candles are juz different... they emit romance...

of course there was regular egg shot, plus some fluor, coffee, en dunno what other things they threw... oh there was soya bean.. quite a nutritious mixture.. my bathroom is still smelly now en will still be like that for a week.. so its good..

i'm myers-briggs' wise, a character that does not really concern about occasion such as bday but i guezz... its a gud moment to remind urself that u r not alone after all...

when i was teenage n almost 20.. i thot bday wish supposed to be about someone i love, a girl.. but im 24 now n my bday wish today,well its someones i love.. but i guezz i couldn't even think bout my personal relationship... do i mature up?