traces of the wind

have you ever wondered, if God has a teardrop counter to count the teardrops falling when you pray.. n once it reach certain number then poof... your wish granted...
n you start asking "God... tell me how many more teardrop it takes till you listen to my prayer?"..
i know there is probably no such thing... but sometimes you just can't stop wondering.. seasons past and years past.. new problems arise and yet.. all the old problems are still there.. n you wonder whats going on up there and whats keeping Him from granting your wish..

one day you feel so blessed that all the most beautiful things happened and the next day.. one sms is all it takes to turn your world upside down..
i thought last year was the worst and things could only get better this year.. how wrong was I?
indeed He who gives also takes away..

n sometimes you just feel you want to run away.. you wish something knock your head so hard that the next day you are awake.. you can't remember a thing.. n you are all by yourself in a new place... n you go thru a new life...
yet you know God hates quitter.. n you know you hate quitting a fight.. n sometimes u just wish there is someone to share this journey with...

so you start askin God "where is my helper? where is my partner?" in vain.. no one... maybe you're not gud enough for your helper at the moment after all... maybe you just have to wait a little longer.. maybe tomorrow things will change.. maybe not...

you can smile, you can cry.. nothing changes.. nite will come and morning will takeover.. you might as well smile and the world will think you are fine..

n maybe you are fine after all.. coz God.. He never leaves you alone.. His plan may not be a comfortable ride.. but He promises that everything will turn out beautiful in its own time.. in His time...

maybe that's why there is the book of Job.. someone who deserved every right to criticize God for things that God allowed to happen in his life and yet he said "He gives and He takes away, blessed be the Name of the Lord"...

"i am not strong enough" - bob, the incredibles

juz watched it for the 2nd time and geez.. i juz like the movie.. one of the best, ever...

been back to jakarta for almost 2 weeks.. it was great to be back there wif my family and all.. i like home.. even when it isn't that peaceful.. even when it is kinda in turmoil.. i like home.. i like it's smell, smell of sincerity.. i like my father's loud voice.. i like my mother's constant nag.. i like my brother's companion, we never run out of topic n he's getting more n more like me.. i never knew he like singing, never knew he has such an unique voice, never knew he would ask me to go kareoke with him.. it's great when u have such a brother.. one is more than enough..

joanna alexandra (or alexander?).. is a new model cum actress in indon.. i first liked her when she was doing a Ponds' advert.. i think she is really cute n geez... i juz found out that my brother also likes her a lot.. now that's what u call brotherhood..

i used to kinda believe that a geminic isn't really cut out to be faithful in love but.. to think that my bro still in love with the first girl he liked and my other very special friend is (or was) pretty much the same.. guezz u can't really trust zodiac =D

as i reached harbour front.. walked out and got into mrt station.. it was a mixed feeling.. i love to be back here, in this small island with lotsa love and dream to catch.. but nothin feel like home isn't it?

maybe once i got a new job things will be better..

hmm.. quick update before i fly to vietnam for few days break...

first... i'm in love with bowling for soup's almost.. but let's just make do with the newest song i'm in love with.. ryan cabrera's true.. this is da lyric..

Ryan Cabrera - True

I won't talk I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me

You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm

I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move

I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

[Chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

[chorus]
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you

All my life I've waited
This is true
=============================================

So the part in bold is my fave part coz.. as my friend said it "it's mirroring you isn't it?"
pathetic.. I know...
and how I hope I can settle all those stupid things on my head,
knowing what I really want..
and do what is written in Italic..

juz how much can 4 days trip to saigon change your whole idea of today's woman? a lot...
more than what you can imagine..
juz when you thot those beautiful woman with great character and great pride in their role as the very support for the men has extinct..
i dunno if most vietnamese are that awesome.. but the one we got to know and make friend with is definitely of a different breed..
when i turned to the last chapter of the Proverb.. i thot that chapter was kinda archaic.. there is no way you can find such a woman in this world..
but then, probably you can find them in saigon..

for a start.. never had i heard a girl saying "despite i'm in full, i don't want this food to be wasted"
what i often heard was "it tastes funny... i can't finish them.. i'm full.. i don't feel like eating anymore"

there are many things i never heard or saw in my whole life despite knowing so many nice girls... but.. maybe i will talk bout that after my friend tell the complete story in our makanblog...

of course... as i mentioned to my friend just now.. it's pointless, even when you are faced with a goddess-like lady, if you are already heplessly in love and stuck..