traces of the wind

now i understand that

love doesn't survive in silence

after all....

7.00  AM - 7.00 PM- wake up, public transport, workplace, public transport, home sweet home

7.00  PM -11.00PM- tv, ps2, msn, well nothing basically..

11.00PM - 7.00 AM- sleep

Well, either that or the following slight variation:

1. movie

2. someone's bday

3. dinner with some folks

4. cellgroup

5. some courses

all of which have become routine as well.. more expensive routine.. 

all of which really kill inspiration..

anyway.. it's common to see the blind wearing sunglasses but yesterday, i saw a .. what u call it.. vocally disabled person(since mute is considered offensive nowadays)? carrying a mobile.. a new nokia which is much more advanced than my dying sony ericson..

for the first two seconds i was like 'what the.. a mobile? what for?' then yeah.. i realized how stupid i was.. of course.. the sms.. i guess sms must be one of most important invention in the last century for these disabled people.

i'm thinkin of touching on 'the exorcism of emily rose' for the next newsletter article..

my friends have given a very good review on that movie and while i agree that movie may well be a very good catch (i haven't watched it).. it disturbed me that they accepted it without any defense, the idea that the girl in the movie, ms.rose, died for God's purpose.

now ms rose was supposedly possessed by 6 demons i guess, there was the demon who possessed Cain and there was even the boss itself, lucifer. europe, during that time, was full of skeptism over the existence of God as science advanced. to make it short, ms rose eventually 'understood' that she was possessed according to God's plan, to show people that demon exists (and thus God exists?). so she stopped taking her medicine and 'surrendered' to God. Well, she died. It created quite a controversy back then and the exorcist pastor was called to the court, a science vs religion case. In the end I guess they managed to prove that Emily Rose was really possessed, instead of sick. Thus demons exists.

Thus God glorified??

Absurd.

I may be wrong to say this but this is what i believe: God never has any intention to so specifically 'promote' the lucifer and the gank's existence, to such extent that He sacrifices his children.

We've seen many cases of demon possessed people during Jesus' time and guess what, they were all HEALED. the demons were all EXORCISED. and who was the victim back then? THE PIGS.

oh yeah there was time when his disciples failed to exorcist certain demon and what did Jesus say?

'oh you of little faith'...

If ever God allow demon to have fun, His purpose, i believe, is to later show His superiority over them.

Not to let them mess around with us and getting us killed.

Remember Job? God let Satan mess around with Job's life but this He warned 'don't you ever try to take his life'. And that was before Jesus died on the cross. The devil nowadays have no power over us unless we allow them to. And God needs to use Emily Rose, get her possessed and then died, to prove to people that He exists?

I dare not judge Emily Rose, I don't even know what was the truth back then. Rather, I am judging the idea the movie tried to pass to us; that demons do exist and they do have power over us. 

I am not saying that other movies such as Harry Potter are good. Or those horror movies I love to watch are better off. But these movies, u know that they hold no truth and can pass on as mere entertainment. It's movie such as emily rose, which has the mix of 95% truth and 5% lie, that has potential to mislead us. 

indeed a crazy world

which was the reverse bungeee!!!!!!! ooh gosh..THAT WAS FUN!!!

well it may not be as scary as the usual bungee but still, my mind went blank when the sphere shaped thing we sat in reached its maximum height and freefalling..

ahh.. that freefalling state... awesome!!..

kinda recall that blog entry by my bro the wanderer..

so it was a $28 well spent..  once is enough though 

oh and before that, i ate that king brew burger, brewerkz biggest burger which kinda turn my stomach upside down. thx vivi for the great dinner.. 

well now that i've just tried the most interesting around my house, i juz don't know what else there is to try. nope.. water pipe smoking isn't in the list .. that was.. well.. i don't know.. not now.. someday maybe i will try

anyway, owen said that i looked so peaceful when we were about to be thrown into the air on the bungee ride. well i guess.. i just long to touch the heaven.

now.. trying hard to get back to my work. i was terribly discouraged when the product marketing ppl reviewed my job and they wanted changes here and there which effectively forced me to rewrite almost all of my code, and my supervisor said nothing. well i know he isn't that kinda argumentative person but please lah.. he asked me to do it that way and now he juz stay silent like that..

ah nevermind.. just give me my monthly pay.. 

won't be long..

ah well.. i notice that i've significantly reduced my msn online time, i have less tendency to reply mail threads, and i've many times opt not to join the people chilling out on the weekend etc...

but all of which are subconscious acts, never plan or mean to do so.. i'm not unhappy with my job (at least till last monday  , definitely happy with frens who have been around.. okay, a bit unhappy with the fact that i could barely save some money at times..

but still.. something is missing..

motivation.. reason.. that person who would say

"be a better man so that i can entrust u with my heart and hands"

that responsibility..

okay, i've even lost interest to talk about that favorite topic after four lines of sentences...

so i'd just leave my office now and try out the toa payoh swimming complex

1.30 $ per entry for weekend and 0.90$ for weekdays, not bad ya!!

 

n this has been the week where i code less than 20 lines for a total of 4 days working..

super..

apa artinya waktu aku nyanyi 'you'll never let me go, thru it all'..

mungkin, semua itu Kamu ceritakan waktu Adam dan Hawa jatuh dalam dosa.

Waktu mereka tanpa sadar merobek-robek jubah kekudusan yang Kau kenakan pada mereka waktu mereka diciptakan.

Seperti, seorang cowo yang akan bepergian di musim dingin. Ia membuang syal yang diberikan seorang cewe karena dia baru saja menerima syal yang tampak lebih bagus dari cewe kedua tepat sebelum berangkat.

Tapi ternyata syal itu hanya indah sesaat, dicuci sekali lalu jadi ga karuan. Dan sekarang cowo itu tanpa syal di musim dingin. Seperti Adam dan Hawa yang telanjang.

Lalu dia bertemu lagi dengan cewe pertama itu, yang sudah tau apa yang terjadi dengan syal yang dia berikan, karena cewe kedua cerita dengan bangga pada dia.

Hati cewe itu sakit. sakit sekali.. Dia ngga akan bisa lagi buatkan syal bagus seperti yang dia pertama buatkan. Karena untuk membuat syal yang pertama itu, dibutuhkan bahan yang namanya 'kesucian'. Dan bahan itu sudah tidak ada.

Tapi, dia ngga tega melihat cowo itu kedinginan.

Lalu dia rajut lagi sebuah syal, seperti Kamu membuatkan pakaian buat Adam dan Hawa sebelum mereka harus meninggalkan Eden.

Cowo itu kaget, lalu bertanya 'mengapa kamu masih mau membuatkan syal untukku? mengapa kamu ngga takut aku sakiti lagi? dan bukankah kamu sudah ngga punya bahan 'kesucian' lagi?'

Cewe itu jawab 'aku sakit dan akan terus sakit waktu kamu kembali membuang syal yang kubuat. tapi aku membuat dan akan terus membuat syal baru buat kamu waktu kamu datang ke aku selama aku masih punya bahan 'kesetiaan' yang aku pakai untuk buat syal kedua ini'

'Dan bahan 'kesetiaan' itu, masih banyakkah?'

'Tidak pernah habis...'

Kamu ngga akan mengejarku dan memaksaku tinggal waktu aku melangkah menjauh. Tapi Kamu akan mengikutiku dan membayangiku. Karena ada waktu aku terhilang dan hancur, dan terlalu lemah untuk berjalan mendaki ke tempat dari mana aku meninggalkan Engkau.

Tapi Engkau ada disana, dilembah dimana aku terpuruk dan mengangkatku naik.

Bodoh.. aku rasa Kamu itu sungguh bodoh kadang.

Untuk Kamu yang 'bodoh', setiap nafasku..